Walking on Water

"The heart of man plans his way,

but the Lord establishes his steps."

Proverbs 16:9

This verse could not sum up any better our adoption journey so far.  Where we thought we were going, and where we are now in this process are two very different places!  Praise God that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than ours!

On January 20, 2012, God began to show us that His plan for our adoption was much bigger than we had imagined.  It was on this day that we received an e-mail about the China Special Focus program.  This program allows families to adopt two children from China in one trip.  As we discussed this, God began to prick our hearts that maybe this program was for us.  Even as my head screamed "no," my heart was whispering "yes."  So we began to pray.  For almost two weeks we prayed, scared to death at the thoughts of  adopting two special needs babies at the same time.

Nevertheless, eleven days after receiving this e-mail, I contacted our family coordinator about the program.  She told us the first thing we would need to do is get our home study updated to reflect approval for two children and to re-file our immigration paperwork requesting approval to adopt two children as well. 
I began going through our home study and immigration approval and couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I realized GOD had already paved the way.  Both our home study and our immigration paperwork stated approval for two children.  Let me try to explain how this happened.

When completing our home study, our social worker wrote the description of our adoption in much broader terms than we had requested.  I remember being alarmed when I saw that she had approved us for one or two children, boy or girl, up to 48 months with various special needs.  When I asked her about it, she explained that she always writes a broad approval of ages and special needs because, with adoption, anything can happen.  (Spoken like a true prophet!)  She said not to be concerned because our agency would match us with a child according to the age or special needs that we specified.  At that time, I had no clue what God was doing, but looking back, it is clear that He was writing our home study according to His plan, not ours.

Next we needed to check on our immigration approval (IA).  When I filled out our IA paperwork, we had the choice of seeking approval to adopt one child, two children, or three or more children.  It didn't cost any more for approval for two, so I bubbled in two children, having NO CLUE China even allowed two children to be adopted at the same time!  So, not only was our home study already written for two, our immigration paperwork also reflected approval for two special needs children.

Whoa!  It was starting to feel like maybe God really was going to give us two children, and we were SCARED TO DEATH!!  We waffled back and forth for two months, some days feeling sure God was going to give us two more children, some days not even sure we could handle the four we already had!  By Friday morning, March 30, after two particular phone conversations, one with our social worker and another with a friend who works with special needs children, I was pretty sure that we could not adopt two special needs babies at once, that it was just going to be too difficult.

With a heavy heart, I went on to Piedmont Women's Center to volunteer.  I asked the other volunteers to pray for God to give us guidance.  Their prayer was that God would give me a  very clear answer, and He did...that very afternoon.

When I got home from PWC, I picked up a book I had been reading by Anne Graham Lotz and here is what God shouted to me:
"What priceless treasure are you in danger of throwing out, simply because of the way it is packaged?  Could it be the treasure of seeing Him?   Sometimes God wraps His glory in hard circumstances or ugly obstacles or painful difficulties, and it just never occurs to us that within those life-shaking events is a fresh revelation of Him...Are you so focused on the outer wrappings that you are in danger of missing or even throwing away the fresh, personal revelation of Himself that He wants to give you?...Change your mind about things - about yourself - about others - about Him. Relax in total trust. He knows what He is doing. Unwrap the package! Let go and look up! Let Him open the eyes of your heart. OPEN YOUR EYES. Open your eyes to the vision of His glory. Prayerfully, expectantly, sincerely, open your eyes to Him."

I was shaken to the core, knowing that God had just spoken to me. He was saying, "Stop looking at the outward appearance of these precious children. You are in danger of missing Me! Change your mind about what you can handle, change your mind about who these precious children are, and change your mind about WHO I AM. I know what I am doing. I am giving you the gift of Myself wrapped up in these children. Unwrap the package. Open your eyes and see what I am doing!"

I am not sure I have ever heard His voice so clearly before. It was such a powerful and humbling experience, and I knew He was confirming His plans for us to adopt two.  And, yet, I was still so afraid.  "Lord, it is going to cost so much more money.   Lord, unless we tie someone to the roof, we don't even have a car big enough to hold us all.  Lord, how can I manage SIX children???"

But, with fear and trembling, we took another step.  We filled out our Special Focus application and  emailed it to our social worker for her approval before sending it on to our adoption agency.  She responded back, "I will have to get special approval for you to adopt two unrelated children, and normally this approval is not given."  I was confused because our home study already reflected approval for two children.  She informed me that the approval was for two related children, such as twins or sibling groups.  She was shocked that she hadn't actually specified that the children must be related.  "I never write a home study that way," she said.  But she agreed to advocate for us and said she would let us know their decision.  So we waited to hear from her.

Two days later, even before we had heard back from our social worker, God gave Tollie major confirmation of His plans as well.  On Wednesday afternoon, God miraculous provided a larger vehicle for us.  Tollie called from work to tell me that there was a Suburban (NINE passengers) in the parking lot that a friend was trying to sell and that he would sell it to us for $1800.  We hadn't even begun to look for a vehicle, and God had already provided.  He drove our vehicle up in the that parking lot, and said, "Here you go.  No need to tie anyone to the roof."

The very next morning, we received word from our social worker that we had received special approval to adopt two unrelated children.  She said she knew this had to be God because she could not explain the way she had written our home study any other way.  God is good!

So...here we are.  Waiting.  Knowing that it is still going to take a million miracles for this to all work out.  It is far from being a done deal, but God has open EVERY SINGLE DOOR so far.  We just continue to take small steps of obedience as God continues to open the doors.

Through all of this, God is teaching me to trust Him in so many ways.  To trust Him for who He is-

as Elohim, the Creator, who knit together every one of these babies according to His plan,

as El Elyon, the God Most High, who is sovereign over EVERYTHING,

as El Roi, the God Who Sees, who sees our babies even while we can't,

as El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient One, who is and will provide everything we need, and

as Adonia, Lord and Master, who has wonderful plans for us as we follow Him.

Just as Peter had to get out of the boat to walk on water, we know that we cannot experience all God has for us if we remain in the safety of our "boat."  We can choose to be safe or we can choose to follow Him.  If we choose to risk the crashing waves, we will experience His power in miraculous ways.  So we choose to jump, knowing full well we are going to get wet, knowing we are going to sink at times when we focus on circumstances rather than Him, but also knowing this:"If we allow ourselves to live recklessly for Him, then we will see His glory.  We will see Him do the impossible,"(Francis Chan). 

So, we are getting out of the boat because we, too, want to
WALK ON WATER.

The Waiting Game

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;  they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

I am not sure if it was pride or naivety or just plain old denial, but, although we had been told how difficult the waiting was in adoption, I really didn't think it would be for me.  Anxious, maybe, like a kid is for Christmas, but, we were so busy, I told myself, that we would blink, and the time to go get our daughter would be here.  But I was dead wrong. 

This waiting game has been heart-wrenching.  I get so weary of playing it some days, the longing in my heart almost too much to bear.  But, play I must, because the prize is too great to miss. On the day I hold my daughter in my arms, I know it will all be worth it.  But some days, that day seems like it may never get here. 

Although I knew in my head that we would be waiting a long time, my heart apparently never got the message.   Each month, on the day that more children become available for adoption, my heart can't help but hope--hope that the phone will ring, hope that they will say they have found our daughter.  I hope for the impossible, even though I know our time has not yet come.

But even though this waiting is so much more difficult than I had ever imagined, I know God is faithful.  I know His timing is perfect.  I know that our daughter will be here at exactly the right time, and I wouldn't want it any other way.  He sees the big picture, and I cannot.  So I trust Him.  Even when my heart is breaking, even on the days that I just want out of the game, I trust Him.  Because He promises the very best for His children and His promises are ALWAYS true, I trust Him. 

There is a reason for this waiting, and He is revealing it to us a little at a time.  He is accomplishing His purpose in us and through us.  He is opening doors for us to share our adoption story and to encourage others to answer His call to care for orphans.

One opportunity is coming up on March 11, at the Casting Crowns concert.  We have been asked to represent America World (our adoption agency) and Show Hope (a ministry that cares for orphans) at the concert.  We will be giving out information and answering questions for those who are interested in adoption.  And the coolest thing about it is how God orchestrated it all. 

Several months ago I heard that Casting Crowns was coming to the Bi-lo Center, so for Valentine's, I asked for tickets.  I told Tollie I would order them.  But every time I went to purchase them, I felt such a hesitancy.  So much so, that I never bought the tickets, but had no idea why.  Then, last Monday (less than a week before the concert), I get an e-mail from Show Hope saying that they needed volunteers for the concert, and of course, they would provide the tickets.  WHAT!!  FREE TICKETS and a chance to talk about adoption.  Who could do this besides God??  And as icing on the cake, we will be volunteering with another couple from the area who is adopting from AWAA, who we will finally be able to meet face-to-face. 

And it doesn't stop there.  The very next day we were invited to share our adoption story at the  America World Adoption Seminar coming up on March 24 in Spartanburg.  We are so honored and excited about this special opportunity because it was at this amazing seminar last year that God changed the course of our adoption.  We are thrilled to be part of it again this year and thrilled that He is using us to share His love and passion for adoption and for orphans.

It is in these moments, when we see His hand so clearly, that our strength is renewed.  We can walk this road a little longer.  Because we hope in Him, we can continue to play the Waiting Game.  We can continue to follow Him, step-by-step, in this call to adoption, knowing that He will continue to show Himself to us, knowing that He is in control. 

He knows how difficult this waiting is on a mommy's and daddy's heart, and we know He will continue to encourage us in incredible ways.  He is good and faithful.  His plans for us are good, plans to give us HOPE and a future.  So we will continue to endure this waiting game, but endure with hope, knowing that He's got it all worked out.  What a gift!  What a Savior!  Oh, how I love and trust Him.

Obedience Leads to Blessing

We serve an amazing God who loves us beyond measure and wants to bless us beyond belief.  He has wonderful plans for our lives, if only we will obey.  Knowing He has such great love for us, we can trust Him with our lives because He knows all things and desires to lead us in paths of righteousness. 

We can't thank Him enough for rescuing our family from financial ruin in October of 2008 through a class called Financial Peace University.  Although we could not know what was going to happen that October, He did, and 6 months prior to that time, He lead us to get on a budget, get out of debt and save for an emergency fund. 

He not only protected us from disaster but He was also preparing us for His call to adoption.  Now we are waiting for our precious daughter Meilí and are so thankful that His hand was upon us then so that we can follow Him now as we seek to care for orphans.

We are extremely excited and completely amazed at the opportunity He has given us.  We were invited by the people at Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University to share our story of His protection in a LIVE simulcast web event that was aired last night (December 15, 2012).  We are so humbled that God allowed us to share what He has done, and we pray that many are encouraged to trust Him with their finances and with their lives.  If you would like to hear the testimony we shared last night, you can do that by clicking on the link below.  If you don't have time to watch the whole event, our testimony begins about 7.5 minutes into the program. 

Dave Ramsey's Night of Thanks Web Event

God is so good and faithful to His children, and we are so thankful.  Obedience certainly leads to blessing, and we just want to keep obeying and following Him wherever He leads. 

We wish you a very Merry Christmas. 

May He grant you His peace and joy as we celebrate all He has done for us.

Tollie, Ashley, Gabriel, Carter, Cason & Hudson

Step of Faith: Unbelievable Blessings One Year Later

For the Lord is a sun and shield;  the Lord will give grace and glory;

No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of Hosts,

Blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Ps. 84:11-12

November 14, 2010.  The day that, with fear and trembling, we took our first official step of adoption.

In the next year we would do countless hours of paperwork, and countless hours of praying, crying, and seeking God's face for direction.  We would learn so much about adoption and allow God to teach us His heart for adoption.  We would allow God to wrap us in His love and constantly praise Him for His provision.

It was a year filled with wonder as God did so many miraculous things.  And all the while, He was waiting.

Waiting for November 14, 2011.

Waiting to blow our minds and bring us to our knees in tears and humble thanksgiving.

On Monday morning, November 14, 2011, I received a phone call on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognized.  I didn't answer, assuming it was someone trying to sell me something!  Ding, goes my phone, alerting me that I had a message.  So I checked it, and it was a good thing I was sitting down when I did.

The message was from a lady named Blair.  She said she was from Dave Ramsey's office.  She informed me that she had heard our testimony about how God had used Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University to impact our life.  She then informed me that they wanted to used our testimony in their upcoming LIVE web simulcast of "The Great Recovery" event.  They also were interested in using our testimony in some of the new promotion videos for Financial Peace University.

I am pretty sure I had a heart attack at that very moment.  WHAT?  This can't be happening.  Yes, it was amazing how God rescued our family from financial disaster in 2008.  How He led us to live on a 40 hour paycheck when we receiving an 80 hour paycheck.  How He told us to get out of debt and get an emergency fund with the extra money.  How it took us six months to be debt-free, with a fully funded emergency fund.  How, exactly one month after the last deposit to our emergency fund had been made, all of Tollie's overtime was completely cut out so we only had a 40 hour paycheck.  How God allowed something so potentially disastrous as losing over 50% of our income to actually be a blessing for our family because we got our daddy and husband back.  Yes, this is such an amazing God story, but to hear that Dave Ramsey was interested in it...well, it totally floored us.  And to get this phone call on this day...only God could do it.

But He wasn't done.

That afternoon my phone rang again.  It was a precious friend that I am so thankful God brought into my life.  She told me that she had a gift for us.  She wanted to give us the entire set of  crib bedding and all the accessories for Meilí's nursery. 

I have never been more humbled or touched by a gift before.  This bedding is very special to her, and she wants my baby girl to have it.  Then, to see this bedding, to see that it was exactly what I would have picked out, I was overwhelmed by His goodness.  This Miss Monkey is perfect for Meilí.

And to receive such a call on this day. 

It was as if God was saying, "When you step out in faith to follow Me, even when you are scared and unsure, I am going to bless you beyond anything you can imagine.  I have it all under control, and I am going to provide for you in amazing ways, so DO NOT WORRY."

We serve an amazing God, who has amazing plans for our lives.  These plans are not usually the "safe" thing to do, and they usually require us to step out of our comfort zone.  But if you are willing to step out in faith, no good thing will He withhold from you.  Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

What a mighty God we serve.

Step of Faith: Unbelievable Blessings One Year Later

For the Lord is a sun and shield;  the Lord will give grace and glory;

No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of Hosts,

Blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Ps. 84:11-12

November 14, 2010.  The day that, with fear and trembling, we took our first official step of adoption.

In the next year we would do countless hours of paperwork, and countless hours of praying, crying, and seeking God's face for direction.  We would learn so much about adoption and allow God to teach us His heart for adoption.  We would allow God to wrap us in His love and constantly praise Him for His provision.

It was a year filled with wonder as God did so many miraculous things.  And all the while, He was waiting.

Waiting for November 14, 2011.

Waiting to blow our minds and bring us to our knees in tears and humble thanksgiving.

On Monday morning, November 14, 2011, I received a phone call on my cell phone from a number I didn't recognized.  I didn't answer, assuming it was someone trying to sell me something!  Ding, goes my phone, alerting me that I had a message.  So I checked it, and it was a good thing I was sitting down when I did.

The message was from a lady named Blair.  She said she was from Dave Ramsey's office.  She informed me that she had heard our testimony about how God had used Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University to impact our life.  She then informed me that they wanted to used our testimony in their upcoming LIVE web simulcast of "The Great Recovery" event.  They also were interested in using our testimony in some of the new promotion videos for Financial Peace University.

I am pretty sure I had a heart attack at that very moment.  WHAT?  This can't be happening.  Yes, it was amazing how God rescued our family from financial disaster in 2008.  How He led us to live on a 40 hour paycheck when we receiving an 80 hour paycheck.  How He told us to get out of debt and get an emergency fund with the extra money.  How it took us six months to be debt-free, with a fully funded emergency fund.  How, exactly one month after the last deposit to our emergency fund had been made, all of Tollie's overtime was completely cut out so we only had a 40 hour paycheck.  How God allowed something so potentially disastrous as losing over 50% of our income to actually be a blessing for our family because we got our daddy and husband back.  Yes, this is such an amazing God story, but to hear that Dave Ramsey was interested in it...well, it totally floored us.  And to get this phone call on this day...only God could do it.

But He wasn't done.

That afternoon my phone rang again.  It was a precious friend that I am so thankful God brought into my life.  She told me that she had a gift for us.  She wanted to give us the entire set of  crib bedding and all the accessories for Meilí's nursery. 

I have never been more humbled or touched by a gift before.  This bedding is very special to her, and she wants my baby girl to have it.  Then, to see this bedding, to see that it was exactly what I would have picked out, I was overwhelmed by His goodness.  This Miss Monkey is perfect for Meilí.

And to receive such a call on this day. 

It was as if God was saying, "When you step out in faith to follow Me, even when you are scared and unsure, I am going to bless you beyond anything you can imagine.  I have it all under control, and I am going to provide for you in amazing ways, so DO NOT WORRY."

We serve an amazing God, who has amazing plans for our lives.  These plans are not usually the "safe" thing to do, and they usually require us to step out of our comfort zone.  But if you are willing to step out in faith, no good thing will He withhold from you.  Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

What a mighty God we serve.

Ask And You Will Receive

If you remain in Me and My words remain in you,

ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 15:7

Do you know how it is when a certain smell or certain sight jolts you back to the past to a certain time and memory?  When it happens, it's almost like you are there, experiencing the memory all over again.  This is what happens to me every time I read John 15:7.  It makes me have butterflies all over again, even after all these years.

It all happened on my last trip in China, in the summer of 2002.  Our team of Americans were teaching English to over 200 Chinese students.  One of the planned activities was a field trip to the Great Wall, with all 200 students plus 50 or more teachers.  Just the logistics of transportation was overwhelming!  But the Chinese team leader, Johnson, had been planning the camp for months and had buses reserved well in advance.

About three days before this field trip, I walked through the lobby of the hotel to find Johnson (who was not a Believer) sitting in the lobby, obviously troubled.  I asked him was was wrong.  He told me that although he had reserved buses for the field trip months in advance, the reservation had been canceled by his school director because she had found a better price on buses elsewhere.  At the last minute, he was informed that the buses were not available.  He explained to me that it was impossible to find enough buses now because July was China busiest tourist season. 

He was greatly distressed because he was afraid he was going to have to cancel the field trip.  In the Chinese culture, "saving face" is of the utmost importance, and to cancel the promised field trip would be bad for his school's reputation.  So I told him, "Johnson, I will pray about it."  With a look of surprise, he asked, "So you think your God can provide the buses?"  And...I nearly died on the spot.  Uhhhh, well...ummm.  "What do I say?" I thought.  If I say yes, and God doesn't provide the buses, what will he think of God?  But I can't say no because I know God can do anything.   Talk about being called on the carpet.

So I said the only thing I could say.  "Yes, God can provide those buses," I told him.  Johnson seemed skeptical, and I was SCARED TO DEATH.  I never doubted that God COULD provide those buses, but I just didn't know if He WOULD.  And I felt Johnson's faith in God was on the line. 

I left Johnson, went to my room and fell on my face before the Lord.  I begged the Lord for those buses.  I admitted how afraid I was, and I asked Him for a miracle, so that Johnson could see that my God was awesome and powerful .  I then called an emergency meeting with all the American teachers, told them about our conversation, and begged them to pray with me.  And pray we did!

Over the next two days, we all continued to pray and anxiously await news on the buses.  I finally asked Johnson about it.  He said, "Well, your God has come through about 85%." When he said that, God gave me great boldness, and I answered, "My God is a 100% God, and He will provide all of your buses." As I walked away, I was certain I had lost my sanity!

Later that afternoon, after I had reported this news to the team and told them what I had said, a teenager on the team brought me a card with a verse written on it.  It said:


If you remain in Me and My words remain in you,

ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 15:7

It became my lifeline.  I have never held on to Scripture so tightly.  I reminded the Lord continually of this promise, as did my team.  We continued to pray the next two days, but God had not provided the remaining buses. 

The morning of the field trip dawned, and I was very anxious.  I searched Johnson out.  When I found him, he gave me wonderful news:  he said not only did we had enough buses, but that there was an EXTRA bus and driver. I was overjoyed.  God had done the impossible.  He had made a way when there seemed to be no way.
   

But He wasn't done yet. 

On the way to the field trip, it began to rain.  The further we drove, the more it rained.  The more it rained, the more Johnson began to worry.  Johnson, in a teasing voice, said to me, "Your God provided the buses, but now it is raining."  I replied, "Hey, you didn't tell me to pray about the weather."  We all laughed, but when we got there and Johnson got off the bus to walk to the ticket office, we began to pray.  We asked God to stop the rain, so that Johnson could see Him. 

And God did. 

By the time Johnson got back to the bus, God had not only stopped the rain, but we could see the sun peeking through the clouds.  Johnson got back on the bus, and with a huge smile on his face, said, "I can see your God coming through the clouds." 

In John 14:13, Jesus tells His disciples this:

And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do,

that My Father may be glorified in the Son.

Then, in the next verse, He repeats His promise:

If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.

God heard the desperate prayers of this crazy girl from South Carolina, who had gone halfway around the world to tell people about Jesus.  He provided the buses and stopped the rain for Johnson, yes, but also for me.  He wanted me to know that He keeps His promises, and that if we ask in His name, that His name be glorified, HE WILL DO IT. 

He is good, He is faithful, and

He always keeps His promises. 

Hallelujah, what a Savior.

You Said by Shane Barnard

Hope Blankets: More Than We Imagined

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ

 Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21 

God is good and faithful, and His word is true.  He always does so much more than we can ask or imagine, and Hope Blanket Collection Day was a testament to that.  It was an amazing day.  God's Spirit was so heavy in that place, and our hearts overflowed with the love that was poured out on our family.  We were so touched by each family who joined with us as Hope Blankets sponsors, to pray over their blanket, to present it at the alter, and to pray for our family and our daughter Meilí.  These prayers were from so many different places, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Texas.  We had blankets all over, and amazingly enough, we receive every single blanket back again!

   

God did so much more than we could have ask or imagined through these Hope Blankets.  Our hope was for Him to use these blankets  to get others involved in orphan care by praying and giving and for babies to be blessed in receiving these blankets.  Little did we know how He would use these blankets to inspire even our children to cry out for orphans. 

And, oh, how these blankets have been loved on and prayed over by them.  I cannot think of anything more powerful than the sweet, innocent prayers of our children.  We know God is already moving on behalf of these orphans because of these prayers.

As amazing as all of this has been, we know the greatest work is yet to be done.  God is going to answer our cry for these babies, and He is going to bless each one in an incredible way, and nothing could bring us more joy. 

We are especially grateful for our church leadership who has prayed for us, cried with us, counseled and  encouraged us in this journey.  They have such hearts for adoption, and we are thankful that they allowed us to share what God is doing in our lives through adoption.  We would love for those of you who couldn't be with us on Orphan Sunday to hear what God put on our hearts to share by clicking on the link below.   

                    Our Hearts For Adoption

  

We could not have asked for a more incredible experience with the Hope Blankets and Collection Day, but God wasn't quite finished yet!  This past Friday, we boxed up 109 Hope Blankets for their journey to Guizhou, China.  I dropped them off at the FedEx office, and on my way home, God did it again. 

He put another incredible rainbow in the sky, complete from end to end, right at our house.  And not only did I see it, but this amazing rainbow was visible at least ten miles away at BMW, where God allowed my sweet mom to see it too. 

He has already done more than we could have imagined through the Hope Blankets, and we know that the best is yet to come.  We are so grateful to all who joined with us, and we pray that He pours out His blessings on you as you continue to care for orphans.