I am not sure if it was pride or naivety or just plain old denial, but, although we had been told how difficult the waiting was in adoption, I really didn't think it would be for me. Anxious, maybe, like a kid is for Christmas, but, we were so busy, I told myself, that we would blink, and the time to go get our daughter would be here. But I was dead wrong.
But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
This waiting game has been heart-wrenching. I get so weary of playing it some days, the longing in my heart almost too much to bear. But, play I must, because the prize is too great to miss. On the day I hold my daughter in my arms, I know it will all be worth it. But some days, that day seems like it may never get here.
Although I knew in my head that we would be waiting a long time, my heart apparently never got the message. Each month, on the day that more children become available for adoption, my heart can't help but hope--hope that the phone will ring, hope that they will say they have found our daughter. I hope for the impossible, even though I know our time has not yet come.
But even though this waiting is so much more difficult than I had ever imagined, I know God is faithful. I know His timing is perfect. I know that our daughter will be here at exactly the right time, and I wouldn't want it any other way. He sees the big picture, and I cannot. So I trust Him. Even when my heart is breaking, even on the days that I just want out of the game, I trust Him. Because He promises the very best for His children and His promises are ALWAYS true, I trust Him.
There is a reason for this waiting, and He is revealing it to us a little at a time. He is accomplishing His purpose in us and through us. He is opening doors for us to share our adoption story and to encourage others to answer His call to care for orphans.
One opportunity is coming up on March 11, at the Casting Crowns concert. We have been asked to represent America World (our adoption agency) and Show Hope (a ministry that cares for orphans) at the concert. We will be giving out information and answering questions for those who are interested in adoption. And the coolest thing about it is how God orchestrated it all.
Several months ago I heard that Casting Crowns was coming to the Bi-lo Center, so for Valentine's, I asked for tickets. I told Tollie I would order them. But every time I went to purchase them, I felt such a hesitancy. So much so, that I never bought the tickets, but had no idea why. Then, last Monday (less than a week before the concert), I get an e-mail from Show Hope saying that they needed volunteers for the concert, and of course, they would provide the tickets. WHAT!! FREE TICKETS and a chance to talk about adoption. Who could do this besides God?? And as icing on the cake, we will be volunteering with another couple from the area who is adopting from AWAA, who we will finally be able to meet face-to-face.
And it doesn't stop there. The very next day we were invited to share our adoption story at the America World Adoption Seminar coming up on March 24 in Spartanburg. We are so honored and excited about this special opportunity because it was at this amazing seminar last year that God changed the course of our adoption. We are thrilled to be part of it again this year and thrilled that He is using us to share His love and passion for adoption and for orphans.
It is in these moments, when we see His hand so clearly, that our strength is renewed. We can walk this road a little longer. Because we hope in Him, we can continue to play the Waiting Game. We can continue to follow Him, step-by-step, in this call to adoption, knowing that He will continue to show Himself to us, knowing that He is in control.
He knows how difficult this waiting is on a mommy's and daddy's heart, and we know He will continue to encourage us in incredible ways. He is good and faithful. His plans for us are good, plans to give us HOPE and a future. So we will continue to endure this waiting game, but endure with hope, knowing that He's got it all worked out. What a gift! What a Savior! Oh, how I love and trust Him.